Magnolias

This was on my Yahoo breast cancer group. I really like the saying at the end.

MAGNOLIAS

By Edna Ellison
I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away. As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle . . . so many details, so many bills, and so little time. My son Jack was away at college, but he said he would be there to walk his younger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before. He teased Patsy, saying he'd wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!

To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church. After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, we banked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had! The music, the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers - would be remembered for years.

The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and while her bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiance Tim, walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we opened the door and felt arush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black. Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system,and on that hot summer day, the flowers had wilted and died. I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding.Tim turned to me. "Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements."I mumbled, "Sure," as he be-bopped down the hall to put on his cufflinks.

Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling. "Lord," I prayed, "please help me. I don't know anyone in this town. Help me find someone willing to give me flowers -in a hurry!" I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds.

As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance. Iapproached a house . . . no dog in sight. I knocked on the door and an older man answered. So far so good . . . no shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, "I'd be happy to!" He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down tome. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, "Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today.""No, Ma'am," he said. "You don't understand what's happening here.""What?" I asked."You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday . . He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. "On Wednesday I buried her." He looked away. "On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went backhome, and on Friday - yesterday - my children left. I nodded."This morning," he continued, "I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, as her health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, 'Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody! 'I began to cry louder. 'Nobody needs me!' About that time, you knocked, and said, "Sir, I need you." I stood with my mouth open.

He asked, "Are you an angel? The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room . ." I assured him I was no angel. He smiled. "Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?""No.""I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might have a flowerministry! I could give them to everyone! Some caskets at the funeralhome have no flowers. People need flowers at times like that and I have lots of them. They're all over the backyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!"I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's weddingday, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, Iwould have said, "Forget it! It's my only daughter's wedding, for goodness' sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today."But God found a way. Through dead flowers.

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

Another year older

Having a birthday is rather anticlimatic, as I have been thinking myself as being 53 all year. Still do. Being 52 was just too hard. Diagnosed with breast cancer and losing my best friend.

I am still stiff in the morning, but overall feeling better. I get stiff when I sit too long, so try not to. I scrubbed the tile in our bathroom this past week, as the grout was looking bad. I should have sealed it when we moved in. It is now, and here's hoping it keeps it looking well. The next project will be the front entry and guest bath. Then the kitchen, which is the worst.

I need to get up into the attic this week to get it rearranged after we had the insulation people up there. They moved stuff out of their way, now I have to put it back. I need to get a cooler down for Thanksgiving. Also gonna have Logan and John help me put a few things up there.

Wayne has had 2 overnite pulse oximetry testing. He failed the first one miserably. He spent the majority of the night below 90%. The second one was done for Medicare. I am sure by week's end he will be set up with a concentrator and using oxygen with his CPAP. Wayne doesn't see that having low sats is a problem. But he spends most of the day sleeping in his chair. He desats when he moves, so he tries not to move. He doesn't realize how hard this is on his heart and the rest of his body. When he told his daughter Laurie that he might be going on oxygen, she started crying and couldn't talk to him any more.

I've got a good start on quilting the quilt for Laurie for her office assistant. I hope to have it completely done by next week so that we can take it up to her. Don't want to ship it.

Again, just not in the old Christmas spirit. Thank goodness, really don't have to buy anybody anything. We did buy a larger tree to put in the sunroom. I have found some brick clips so I am gonna put a wreath over the garage, and offer to do the same for Clara.

It's finally Autumn

The trees are turning colors, the air is cool, the crops are mostly out of the fields. Yep, it's fall! Now if we could just get the government to repeal this daylight savings business. I see no useful purpose for it, except to mess with everybody's head. In today's 24/7 society, we are not saving any energy.

I had a post-op visit with Dr. Sommer. She is happy with the way things are looking, but still wants to see me again in 6 months. Pretty typical to be seen 1 year post-op, and my year won't be up until January. I think I will have my 6 month repeat mammo on the right before I see her. I asked the photographer for a CD of all my pictures, and she is going to send it to me, no charge. How nice.

Today I will take my last Levaquin. I hope the body aches will start to subside. Other than that side effect, I am feeling great.

I got my new carriage for my Grace quilting frame this week and have it all set up. This carriage works so much better than the original. I have the speed control on, and it is so far working great. I have a practice piece loaded and it is going great.

I am working on a baby quilt for one of our PA's Gina Bird. It is a raggy quilt, so no quilting required. But I am gonna have to get some more fabric today. Maybe a road trip to Danville or Mahomet, or Rantoul.

The local quilt guild's quilt show was this past weekend. I went with my neighbor Mary. Saw lots of great quilts, and saw lots of folks I know. I am going to rejoin the guild. Should have went last night to a meeting, but I am just feeling too tired after the trip to Springfield. Why does riding in a car wear me out? Got my new military ID while in Springfield at Camp Lincoln.

Pyelonephritis

I don't believe that I have ever felt as sick as I did on the 16th. I woke up at 4am with the chills, body aches, the ague, and just generally feeling awful. I felt so bad I considered going to the ED, but thought better of that and waited to see the doctor on call at 9:15. I got even worse there, vomited while Dr. Anu was examining me. She was so sweet, she held my head while I was throwing up in her exam room sink. She admitted me to the hospital from the clinic. She thought maybe I was having an acute GB attack, as I was painful in the RUQ. I had a little right flank pain, but no CVA tenderness on percussion. I vomited again on the way to the hospital. At the hospital I got an IV and was given Levaquin and Flagyl. Blood work and urinalysis was done. My white count was 8, which is usually normal, but the week before I had been 4, so that was a significant rise for me. I had nitrites and some leukocytes in my urine. My GB sono was normal, as was my chest x-ray, so the diagnosis was pyelonephritis. I felt better the next morning by 7:00am. I couldn't wait to get out of the hospital. Wayne and Scooter missed me. Scooter wouldn't sleep in his kennel, but slept in the living room waiting for me. Thank goodness I have the next three days off. I hope I never get that again!

Good news!

I got the results of the MRI yesterday from Dr. Collins. No evidence of disease in the left breast! Wahoo!! Because of the surgery, there are a couple funky areas in the right breast, but Dr. Fernandez doesn't call them suspicious, just wants to keep an eye on them. We don't have the mammogram result yet, but that should also be good news!

On a sad note, my friend Cindy Cunningham's father passed away earlier this week. He had just moved back here from Arizona. Had only been here a week. Cindy is on the volunteer fire department in Royal, and she got "toned out" to her mom's address. Of course she responded. She thought he had a faint pulse when she got there, so she turned up his oxygen. By the time the rest of the guys got there, he was in full arrest. It is a little crazy, as he was still married to his wife in Arizona, but they were going to get a divorce.

I am doing another block of the month at the Needle 'n I in Rantoul. This one is a Moda University mystery quilt. Did the first one last night. It is an applique basket. Pattern is cute, not too sure I like the fabrics. But it will help me stretch out of my comfort zone. I just have the outside border to quilt on the Illiana shop hop quilt, then put on the binding. I think that I will do a piped binding ala Ricky Timms.

The waiting game

I had the mammo and MRI on Friday. The mammo wasn't any worse than before surgery. We now have digital at Christie, so I was able to look at the images. Nothing popped up as suspicious, and the tech didn't seem worried about anything.

Because we were going out to supper, I only took half of my prescribed Xanax, and then only 15 minutes before the MRI. Should have taken the whole pill. I was awake for the entire time. Didn't get claustrophobic too bad. The laying still was hard. My forehead was hurting from the pressure, and my left shoulder was really aching. My upper arm was numb the rest of the day. I made a game of how much longer by counting songs. Carla said it would take 40 minutes. I figured 12 songs should do it. It was over after 8. One of the songs was Rod Stewart's Maggie May, my theme song. I had my ring rosary in my pocket, and it would vibrate every time the magnet would engage. It reminded me that Steve was looking over me.

Now I just have to wait for Dr. Fernandez to read the films. She was in Las Vegas last week. One person said she would be back today, another thought it would be Wednesday. I won't get antsy until later this week. I see Dr. Chaudry on Friday anyway, so he should have the results. Gotta remember to get my blood drawn Wednesday or Thursday. I am going to have my cholesterol checked, as well as a thyroid panel. I figure, if the radiation got my esophagus and trachea, it may have gotten my thyroid also.

Laurie was able to get down for Wayne's birthday. We had a nice visit. Wayne was surprised and happy.

It's not fall yet!

Those folks who are poo pooing global warming as rubbish should check out the weather. It's supposed to be 90 degrees the next few days. The nights are cooler, but that is still a little warm. I decided a few weeks ago to make chicken matzo ball soup today and invite some of the neighbors. I figured it would be getting soup weather. WRONG! Still gonna make it. Maybe it will start to get cool next month.

Wayne's birthday is tomorrow. His daughter Laurie is gonna try to come down and surprise him. That will be great.

I have my mammo and breast MRI tomorrow afternoon. My left breast is sore from regeneration of nerves after the radiation. I hope it doesn't hurt too much. I don't know if I will be needing the Xanax for the MRI, but I'll take half a pill just in case. I see Dr. Chaudry next Friday. He didn't want me to have an MRI, but Dr. Collins and Dr. Fernandez and I want it, so we overrule him. I would rather have a benign biopsy after a false positive, then let a cancer grow. As my breasts are "new", Dr. Fernandez will not have anything to refer to compare.

I am having a few more aches and pain. Probably from the Femara. I had a 4 day weekend last week, and probably overdid it. Planted some daffodil bulbs, got wore out before I quit, but pushed myself to finish an area. That was on Saturday. Then Sunday midafternoon, I just got really fatigued, and that didn't go away until Tuesday morning. Right now both of my shoulders are aching. Yesterday my right thumb had a deep, annoying ache.

Got my Grace frame set up on the patio. Got a speed control for the Janome 1600. Waiting for the new no-flex carriage. Made zippered leaders, I'm ready to quilt.

Speaking of quilting, I'm going to Paducah! My internet friend Sarah Ann Smith is going to be teaching. I was very lucky and got a handicapped room in a Hampton Inn not too far from the expo center. Ideal would have a room at the center, but those are available by lottery. I offered Sarah my help, and she accepted. It is gonna be a great time. I am really psyched up.