Feeling blue

I was really feeling blue Sunday evening. I worked Sunday 8-2 in convenient care, and of course we were busy. But I got through it and stayed in a good mood. Got home, still doing well. Sometime around supper time it just hit me. We were trying to decide where we would go to eat supper. We decided on Niro's Gyros, as Wayne had never eaten there before. It hit me while we were eating. Wayne is terribly disabled, and he just doesn't care to do anything about it. He won't even stand at a counter to give his order. He sits down and barks orders at me. Of course, I got his wrong, and they had to change it. I got more food than I wanted, because there was a deal, there's always got to be a deal. Fortunately, the gyros taste okay left over. But as I am sitting there watching Wayne shove huge amounts of food into his mouth, I was so disgusted. Here is a man who can barely walk because he has let his body disintegrate, his diabetes is totally out of control, and he doesn't care. Margaret will take care of me. So what if I can't even wipe my own ass after I defecate, Margaret will. So what if Margaret is trapped and can't even go away for a short weekend respite. So what is Margaret feels cheated, because her husband is not really a husband, but more of a patient. Her children are dead. Her best friend and confidante is dead.

I'm glad I didn't reduce my Lexapro dosage.