Called in sick

Today is the first time I have called in sick since coming back to work. I have had a cold for almost 2 weeks, thought I was getting better. Then yesterday, I got a sore throat and a low grade fever. Felt bad last night, and I am still not feeling very good, so decided to call in sick. I feel bad for my internal medicine patients. But I have to do what is best for me. I thought about what Steve would tell me. Take care of ME.

I started the Femara yesterday afternoon. I don't think I am having any side effects, but I'm feeling lousy from the cold, who could tell. I didn't sleep very well last night, but I did fall asleep on the couch. The patient literature said the Femara could make me drowsy. Didn't last night. The hot flashes have not been any different so far.

I was having a lot of body aches yesterday, but I am sure that was from Saturday's exertions. Brother John and nephew Logan met me in Ogden, and we almost emptied our storage shed (my quilting frame is still in there. Because it was raining, we left it.) Then we put all the stuff up in the attic. Thank goodness there were three of us. It would have taken a long time with just two, and some of the heavy stuff needed three. Most of that stuff we will never use again. But some I couldn't bear to part with, and some Wayne wouldn't let me throw away.

We had some landscaping done last week. Had a tree planted, Cleveland Flowering Pear, with a brick ring and rock. Had a brick ring and soil for planting annuals put around our lamp post. Then another brick square with some perenials. Along the east side of the house, we had barberry plants put in between the house and the sidewalk. A lot of the neighbors have commented on it, and seem to like it.

Speaking of neighbors, the unit next to ours has sold. Haven't met the couple, as they will move in Memorial Day weekend. I have met their daughter, who works at the clinic in physical therapy. She seems very nice. He is a retired surgeon (91), she is a retired nurse (86?) Moving here from Florida.

Life goes on

There really isn't much going on. I will finish my radiation tomorrow. Except for some radiation esophagitis, and a small area on my anterior chest wall at the left sternoclavicular joint that got burned, I have had no complications. Just the daily grind of going for the daily treatments.

Work has not been part-time. Most weeks I have put in 40 hours. It has been difficult to work primary care one day per week. Also, I have not had 2 days off from the clinic, except for a few weekends. Not what I expected out of part-time. Convenient care offered me 24 hours, with the days consecutive, so that I will have 4 days off in a row, except for the occasional weekend. I think I will be much happier with this situation.

I will start my Femara this weekend. Didn't want to start until I was done with the radiation. I so hope that I won't get any bad side effects. The hot flashes have started to improve, really would not like to have them get worse.

Got in "trouble" with Provena for accessing my own medical records on their computer system. This was from December after I had my biopsies. My punishment will be loss of access. I am not upset. I maintain that for my confidentiality, it would be much better for me to access my own records, than to have other people handling my records. Also, I was making sure that I had the copies for SIU Springfield's Breast Cancer Center. Blah, blah, blah.

I am so missing Steve. I had a dream about him the other night. It just seemed so real. I have no one who understands me like he did. I try to talk with Carol every week. She is having a very difficult time. Steve would want me to help her as much as I can. I told Carol that Steve told me after Joe was killed that he did not want me going through this without him. I don't want Carol to go through this grief without me. Steve would want this.