Another day

Another day. They all seem to be the same. I got through Christmas. Well, basically ignored it, as I have for several years. Didn't have the angst of Parents After Loss support group hanging over me. I'm not going to go to their holiday memorial service this Sunday. I'm just too tired.

Wayne had his repeat sleep study, and the tech was not very happy. She couldn't get him adjusted to maintain a good oxygen saturation. I am so scared that Wayne is just going to have a massive heart attack and die. Dr. Top wants him to use oxygen with exertion, but Wayne refuses to use oxygen when we go out. He will sit at home with it running. Now he feels that his body has gotten used to the extra oxygen, and that he is feeling more short of breath with exertion than he did before. I say it is because he knows what good feels like, and when he drops, it is a bigger drop than before. But, what do I know? I am only a very experienced nurse practitioner.

I haven't been doing too much in my sewing room. I made a bunch of chenille potholders to give for Christmas gifts to the neighbors. One day I made 18 dozen cookies. My legs were numb and sore after that one. Made a second batch of oatmeal raisin cookies for Wayne because he said he liked them. He wanted me to make a double batch, as he wanted to give some to his buddy Donnie. I say, let him make his own. For goodness sake.

I now have a pain in my left wrist, ulnar aspect. It is getting better. I am supposing it is from the Femara. I have decided to continue with it. I will see Dr. Thatcher next week to see what options I have in regards to my back. I am hoping some physical therapy will be helpful. Some days my legs feel like they are getting weak, but it may be just psychological. I feel better when I am active, moving. Just standing or sitting are not good.

Wayne got me a beautiful diamond cross necklace for Christmas. I was very surprised. I knew I was getting jewelry, but I figured it might be something too ostentatious for me to wear often. But this piece is beautiful! He also got me a Catholic Bible (I had asked for this). My name is printed on the front leather in gold. It is bigger than I would have liked, but I am sure I will get used to it.

Erin asked if I would make a lap quilt for her. She liked the colors and blocks from this year's block of the month, so I will get it made up for her. Wayne thought she had a lot of nerve asking me to make her a quilt. Who cares. I like making quilts, and always need a new reason to make one.

Merry Christmas

The following was posted on my breast cancer support group.
Symptoms Of Inner Peace
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Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many people have already been exposed to inner peace, and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it. Under the right circumstances, inner peace could reach epidemic proportions. This situation could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:
- A tendency to think and act spontaneously with love, rather than on fears which are based upon past experience.
- An unmistakable ability to enjoy each and every moment.
- A loss of interest in judging other people.
- A loss of interest in judging yourself.
- A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
- A loss of interest in conflict.
- A loss of the need and even the ability to worry. (Please Note: This is a very serious symptom.)
- Frequent, almost overwhelming episodes of appreciation andgratitude.
- Frequent attacks of smiling.
- An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
- An increased susceptibility to feeling the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it back.
- An unmistakable feeling that everything is okay.

Warning: If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed to that individual only at your own risk. Inner peace is contagious.

Life goes on

After dealing with it for nearly 4 years, I finally decided to see the doctor about this intermittent numbness that I have been having in my left anterior thigh. It is precipitated by standing at least 10-15 minutes. Gets better with rest. It got bad over Thanksgiving when I stood for hours on Wednesday and Thursday making the feast. I think it may be from my hip, but I don't know. Dr. Collins had me take a hip and lumbar spine x-ray, and I am scheduled for an open MRI this Friday.

My hands are especially stiff and sore this morning, and they definitely are swollen. I think that I am retaining a lot of fluid. I drank a huge glass of water of last night, and don't feel like I had the urine that I should have had. I will be monitoring this. I may be asking to come off the Femara and go to the tamoxifen if these side effects continue. I feel like an old lady.

Wayne is sick this week. I came home Monday from a 12 hour shift and he was running a fever. Had a sore throat, but that is better. His lungs sounded clear. Maybe just a virus. But if this continues I am gonna take him in to convenient care and get a chest x-ray. Saturday we had very icy streets. Wayne insisted that he eat lunch at the big house. I didn't want to, so I stayed at home. Wayne should have also. He fell in front of the big house, and as no body saw him, he had to crawl to a curb under the canopy where he could finally hoist himself up. His knees have been bothering him, as well as his back. I asked if he wanted me to make an appointment to have someone check them, but he declined.

I am feeling like such a slug. I am simply not motivated to get anything done. On my days off, I am taking a 2-3 hour nap. I need to get the binding on a quilt for Laurie. I am making potholders and could be working on them. I am reading a book, but can't get motivated to read. Hopefully, this is just the Christmas blues, and will get better. I think Laurie and her family are coming down for Christmas. I have to work the Sunday before Christmas, off Christmas Eve, and work 9-2 on Christmas Day.

I did get registered for Paducah. Signed up for 5 classes, 3 of them my cyberfriend Sarah is teaching. I am so looking forward to going!

I visited the other day with neighbor Albert. He had told us he needed pipe filters, but as they are new to town, his wife didn't know where to buy them. I went to a tobacco shop and bought him two packages, as well as a big tin of Prince Albert. When I took them over there, Clara was out. Albert was so pleased with his little gift. He told me how much it meant to him when I held his hand when he was feeling bad several months ago. You never know how much the little things can brighten someone's day. We often think that because we don't do grand things that get everyone's attention that we are not doing all that we can. But it is the little small things that people truly appreciate.